she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
