We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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