Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I supernannyed him into submission
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
