she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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