If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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