Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
