You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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