i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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