He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
