well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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