What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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