If i come over, it means nothing
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize