Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
