I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
