i barfeds in our rink
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
