Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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