I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
