Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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