Duck Duck Cougar?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
