if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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