idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
