he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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