btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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