with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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