I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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