just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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