I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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