no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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