Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
be right there i have to get my cape
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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