I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so let's talk penis.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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