I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
