I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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