Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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