Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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