Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
