Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
