He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
