p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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