uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i barfeds in our rink
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
