Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
