it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
