Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
