my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we're making bets on your personal life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
