She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
