happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize