OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
