A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
