cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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