We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
