halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
