i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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