Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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