That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
