She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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