I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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