yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
