Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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