Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
