Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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