thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize