who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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