probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You don't make any sense
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