Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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