and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
