just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
